I saw his heart before I saw how handsome he was. Sound cliché? Maybe, but it's the truth. He found me at the local Publix grocery store. I was wearing my hair back, unattractively but functionally perfect, with hot pink spandex shorts and an oversized and over worn sorority tee shirt. Mr. Smooth, was wearing a cut off tee, and donning the Puerto Rican flag as a do rag on his head. Folks, I was always one to attract the wierdos and that August day was no exception. His smooth lines got him a first date, then a second and a third. . .10 months in and I called it kaputs. A year goes by and I receive a voicemail message full of contrition and my heart still swooning. Needless to say his charm once again held me captive. He proposed in Central Park (NYC) during the Puerto Rican Day parade (a total coincidence) and 3.5 months later we tied the knot. That's the very abbreviated version – if you want the full story, call me J
What keeps me saying "I do" everyday and even on the days when my mind is saying "I don't" is his heart. I know him for the man that he is and the man he is becoming. Who is this man? What do I see in his heart, well let me share with you a short list:
- Brave
- Ambitious
- Self Starter/Motivated
- Righteous
- Bold
- Extravagant
- Big-hearted
- Intelligent/self learner
- Creative
- Loving
- Compassionate
These are some of the things I saw in him when we first got to know one another, and the things I call to mind when I am angry with him. These qualities are resident within his heart. Every man has good qualities/characteristics within him – you may have to dig deep some days sisters, but find them and call your man these things. I am reading Lioness Arising by Lisa Bevere, and one of the things she points out is that the Enemy of our soul often goes through women to get to men. Hmmm, doesn't this sound familiar Eve?
During the break up with my husband (boyfriend, at the time) I never stopped believing in his goodness. I would walk past his house (we lived in the same community) and pray for him and bless him. Out of our mouth comes cursing or blessing, so why not choose to bless?* If women would stop nagging so much (I'm preaching to myself here too girls), stop criticizing, disrespecting and degrading our men we could start a revolution. Perhaps some of us are the culpable party for why our relationships are in shambles. So, take some time today and tell your partner what you see in his heart. Begin or continue to awaken with him the man who God created him to be.
*This blog is not suggesting that women in abusive (physically, emotionally, spiritually or otherwise) relationships should remain. Seek professional counsel and ask God to guide you.